Identifying someone who is having violent behaviors in his relationship is tricky and difficult, especially if the person is a valued member of the team according to you and the rest of the employees.
The person might have a calm, fun and charming behavior at work.
This gap between the abuser’s professional and personal realities can be explained by a belief that their partner and children belong to them and therefore need to be controlled, while they don’t necessarily think the same regarding the rest of the people of their everyday life.
Knowing that the team members will not remain indifferent to insinuations or statements concerning the violent dynamics of the relationship, the abuser will act in order to:
Sachant que les membres de son équipe de travail ne resteront pas indifférents devant de telles insinuations ou déclarations, dans son milieu de travail, la personne violente agira de façon à :
- avoid starting conversations about it;
- maintain his professional and social image;
- maintain control of the situation.
It is more likely that you learn or understand your employee is violent in his romantic relationship through:
- the victim's confidences, if she is also working for you;
- a testimony from the witness of a violent scene;
- gossip about the violent nature of you employee’s relationship;
You can also pay attention to other elements such as:
- changes in your employee’s efficiency;
- low self-esteem hidden under an omniscient behaviors;
- unwillingness to accept criticism;
- difficulty to admit mistakes or take responsibility for them;
- denial or repressing of professional obstacles;
- a tendency to cut oneself off, to find ways to deal with challenges alone;
- show a high level of tolerance to denigrating sexists, macho or misogynistic remarks;
- alcohol abuse;
- drug consumption;
- risky behaviors.
Your employee can miss work for health reasons or be unable to fulfill their tasks because of different injuries, self-inflicted or caused by the victim's defensive reactions.
Moreover, by making use of threats or suicide attempts as a mean of psychological manipulation against the partner, the violent person puts her own life at risk in order to maintain control over the victim.
During working hours your employee might:
- watch or harass their partner;
- excessively call or contact their victim through instant messaging;
- send them a large amount of emails;
- visit and comment in an excessive way their profile, contacts or social media's publications;
- spontaneously leave work to restrict or assault their partner;
- behave in an aggressive and tensed way.